THE COLONY HOLLYWOOD

When the powers that be decided to renovate the space that was previously the evidently undesirable Ritual (and White Lotus) and reinvent it as a permanent Hamptons’ beach-side community known as The Colony Hollywood, the new owners went long on fun and even longer on pretension.

They hired tiny, clean-cut, young barmaids; populated the blue and white deck with a hammock-covered pool and cabana-style seating; built pseudo Montauk-esque wood-plank floors inspired by the boardwalk; and narrowed the musical set list to highly singable mainstream anthems. Should you pop in to SBE’s newest nightclub (opening today) straight after work, don’t be too anal about your nice J. Crew outfit, because you are highly likely to get caught in the crossfire of the bartenders’ water-balloon fight.

Said bartenders (dressed like lifeguards, down to the board shorts or bikini tops and whistles) will make it up to you by passing out vodka-spiked popsicles and champagne-spiked sushi. You know this is a place where things regularly veer out of control because the people behind it – nightlife empresarios SBE (Industry, Mi-6) – have cranked this 13,000 square feet space with a dance floor and, if you’re still not stimulated, a kayak-swing for two.

The Colony Hollywood – If you are an east coaster gone to LA and somehow have a hankering for a taste of home, head over to The Colony Hollywood, where The Hamptons meets LA. The venue features a wooden dock-like entrance, a hammock-covered pool and cabana-style seating. They also have the classic frat-party-goes-to-the-beach styled alcoholic treats, like Jello-shots, booze-filled popsicles, champagne-sorbet foams on mini-spoons—and olives skewered on pipettes filled with splashes of martini.

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